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another reminder: the important stuff stays

3/31/2017

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https://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/the-quote-that-stopped-me-in-my-tracks-woke-me-up/

is the article I found this important piece in.

I've really tried to adopt the living in the present moment,  well, out of necessity.  To live any other way causes more suffering.  I recently wrote a post on addressing the fear of letting go of living in the future....and thought I had actually posted this awhile back, but didn't find it.  This to me addresses the fear of letting go of the past, that worry that if I do that, I will let go of something I should have fixed, or let go of something indeed I did fix, or that I will literally lose my sense of self, who I am.  Interestingly enough the Buddhist teachings address that,  don't they....that there is no self.  There just is, and that is purely the present moment. 
I've found myself in a place of "allowing".  Allowing whatever is showing up in my life to show up.  Whatever that is: fights with my daughter, struggles at work, busyness with my business, the joy of a friend reaching out, the grief of one leaving my life.  I'm trying to appreciate, enjoy and embrace what I have, without looking  back at what I lost or looking forward to where I think I should be.  At times I find myself trapped in thinking what if?...And I have to remind myself that right here, right now, there is nothing that needs to be fixed, that what if isn't happening and ONLY if and when it does happen will it need my attention.   At other times I really have to just step back and reach down to my essence and say what am I here for?  And the answer is to experience....so experience it I will, and when the time comes, if it served me, it will stay.

"He asked a wise person for advice and was told to forget everything, to forget his biography and just be—to discover himself in this way, in the shining light of the present moment (my interpretation).

The thought panicked him (and me, by proxy).
How can I stay myself if I willingly forget all that I was? he asked.
And he was told: the important stuff stays."

The important stuff stays.
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reminder

3/17/2017

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loving someone has less to do with them than it does to do with you.  You don't love someone because they deserve it or because they have done something to deserve it, you love someone because you have love to give and YOU deserve it.

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Just a couple of reminders

3/6/2017

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I sort of amazed myself this weekend.  Interestingly enough, I realized something while thinking.  That doesn't usually happen, it is usually stillness that brings the clarity.  I was thinking about how everyone wears all these masks, or operates from different egos, whatever way you want to say it.  I remember when I first began my journey of "self discovery".  The particular self help book I was reading talked about your masks and finding your authentic self.  It was such an obscure concept to me, I'm just me, right?  It seemed a daunting, even impossible task, to uncover my authentic self.  Which one is it? How will I know? And putting that pressure on myself, "I HAVE to find this! I HAVE to start living from my authentic self, they say so!!"  Looking back, that first "helpful" article....wasn't so much so.  It was like that person knew what needed to happen, but not the connection to MAKE it happen.  Luckily, I've found publications since from enlightened people who DO know how to get you there.  (the trick is staying there) 
Of course over the years I've come to realize, and strive to accept (is that an oxymoron?), that I have various egos/masks.  Do I like them all? Certainly not. Have they served me, some more than others, but they were what I needed at the time.  Have they changed?  Yes. I suppose they have. That's a truth and possibly the ONLY truth, that I am not the same person I was, even a moment ago.  However, there IS that essence, that light....that always lives under it all.  In the spaces.  THAT is my authentic self.  And I have joy that I discovered that.  That elusive connection that finally jibed for me. 
I have to laugh, of course it's one of those: it was right in front of my face.  AND, it's likely I will forget.  Sort of like math, if you don't use it, you will lose it.  But I was there, I am here and I'll find myself again. And when I do, it will be a glorious reunion. 

The other thing that is sort of moving toward some clarity is around resistance.  It's still a little elusive, but I caught a glimpse of understanding how my penchant for understanding a concept always comes with a but....a spot where it falls apart for me....I think some if not all of that is the need to make sense of it, test it against scenarios.  The problem is, my scenarios can only be within the bounds of my experience, so I can't imagine an outcome, that I can't imagine.  That's faith.  That's those spaces.....
Accept it all, let it go....and the important stuff stays.
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