It's hard to just allow things to be as they are. I am sorely reminded at times.  We are so conditioned to try to make ourselves OR others feel better, that at times we aren't truthful about our experience.   And that's all this really is, is an experience.  Oft times (yes, I just said oft), we are so focused on an expectation or an outcome, that we forget.   I get stuck in expectations a lot of the time, we are taught to HAVE expectations, that if you act this way, someone else should act that way.....and so on.....but all the while we are not only robbing that person of their own experience by expecting them to meet our expectations, but also robbing ourselves of our experience of ourselves and that person.
I think we can still share how we feel about our experience, the rough thing is, then the other person often will judge themselves based on that observation.  THEN they share their experience, which is good, as long as it's shared constructively and you are willing to hear and not get defensive or judge yourself.  It's ok to have differing experiences, even at the threat of it meaning a relationship may not continue.  What's important, I think anyway, is sharing what feels true for you about the experience and allowing yourself and the other person to feel those truths without judgement.  It's not about blame, no one is more right than the other.
It is hard tho. You want what you want, you know what you need from a relationship for it to grow and you find yourself wanting someone to act in other ways.  You have to continuously remind yourself- if that is who they are, you have to allow that.  If it is not who they really are, you have to allow that too.   It's not about you, it's not about what you need, it's about their experience. 
I am trying to really allow people to show up HOWEVER they are going to show up.  I might wish it were different, but I would not rob of your experience. I would not want to make your feel less by applying my own expectations to you.  I want you to be your own true expression and not one driven by fear.

You can only do what feels right for you and maybe that will resonate for someone, maybe it won't, and that's ok, because you were true to yourself.

I was thinking about a discussion I had with a friend the other day. We were discussing being scared of being alone for the rest of our lives, meaning without an SO.  I was trying to explain to him that I too had felt stuck in that fear until I finally realized that just like I can't wait until my business is successful, or I can quit my job and do what I love, or I make a million dollars to be happy and enjoy my life, I can't predicate my happiness on having that special someone in my life right now. I've found myself judging myself quite harshly for being single and found myself looking to the future for my life to actually start.  My life is now.  That made me realize that what I was actually talking about was being present.  Living in the now. Enjoying what life has brought me right now, even if that doesn't look like what I had pictured.  There are still so many things I can be grateful for and take joy in every day. 
I know from experience that is a tough thing to do when you are in pain.  How can you be grateful for hurting?  How you be grateful for what feels like lack?  That's when you have to do what I think of as microsizing being present and just focus on that moment.  Right now, you are safe, you are fed, you might hurt, but you can handle it in this moment, you ARE handling it in this moment.  You are drawing sweet air into amazing machines called lungs and expelling a different mixture, isn't that a wonderous thing!?  Your body just did that, without a thought, it just happens.   When you look at the day, you see incredible colors....not every being can, but you get to see that beauty every day!  And what feels like lack, may actually be just a nudge in a different direction, to new opportunities.  There are SO many!   We get so focused on the past and what we've "lost", and so focused on getting to a certain destination, we miss the gifts we have right in front of us, and that is the heart of our suffering.  What if you felt surrounded by that abundance right now?  Why can't you?  Maybe, it's just a matter of redefining your definition of abundance.  Does it mean you have to settle? I don't think so, it's more a matter of accepting; accepting the gifts you have been given.