I came across a quote today, attributed to Pablo Picasso.  "Computers are useless, they can only give you answers"  (I looked it up, seems like it might be his, although slightly misquoted, he responding about " enormous new mechanical brains or calculating machines"......)
I think many then assume, sure the artist isn't about answers.  But it made me pause.  We, as humans, spend a remarkable amount of time looking for answers, unsatisfied with answers, disputing answers, thinking we have all the answers, fighting over answers. 
And what happens when you get the answer.  Often, you do one of the above.  Or, you judge yourself and/other based on that answer.  Are you happy once you get an answer? Satisfied or at peace?

What would happen if you just got ok with having questions?  Being curious? and not needing answers.

you know why I think it sucks so much to lose someone you love from your life?  I mean, does it make sense that we are so sad about losing someone who obviously didn't care enough to be in your life.  I think it has far less to do with them as it does with us. I think the part you loved was your reflection, or what you love about yourself that you saw in that person, your idealized view of them.  So losing them from your life is like losing a part of you that you love.  I like to think it was about losing that opportunity to give love, but this feels more likely, especially since I am not that awake, yet......

Is it strange what we decide about relationships?  Could it be we've gotten it sideways? We think other people are put here to make us happy.  But that is how we choose people for relationships.  If you do everything like I like it, AND you think I'm pretty cool, I'll be in a relationship with you.  I get stuck in that, for sure. I forget that in doing so I missing out on what I was put here for.  To experience.  That being said, I wouldn't mind experiencing more of the enjoyable stuff on a more regular basis.  In fact I would like it a lot, I'm tired of being strong and trying to give all those things to myself.  And when you're tired, yes, let your burden be carried....but I guess I'm still afraid. Afraid of getting more of what I don't enjoy....but then again, doing what I'm doing isn't getting it either, so why not rest.