it's ugly

Is it strange what we decide about relationships?  Could it be we've gotten it sideways? We think other people are put here to make us happy.  But that is how we choose people for relationships.  If you do everything like I like it, AND you think I'm pretty cool, I'll be in a relationship with you.  I get stuck in that, for sure. I forget that in doing so I missing out on what I was put here for.  To experience.  That being said, I wouldn't mind experiencing more of the enjoyable stuff on a more regular basis.  In fact I would like it a lot, I'm tired of being strong and trying to give all those things to myself.  And when you're tired, yes, let your burden be carried....but I guess I'm still afraid. Afraid of getting more of what I don't enjoy....but then again, doing what I'm doing isn't getting it either, so why not rest.