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It's the same thing

6/1/2017

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I was thinking about a discussion I had with a friend the other day. We were discussing being scared of being alone for the rest of our lives, meaning without an SO.  I was trying to explain to him that I too had felt stuck in that fear until I finally realized that just like I can't wait until my business is successful, or I can quit my job and do what I love, or I make a million dollars to be happy and enjoy my life, I can't predicate my happiness on having that special someone in my life right now. I've found myself judging myself quite harshly for being single and found myself looking to the future for my life to actually start.  My life is now.  That made me realize that what I was actually talking about was being present.  Living in the now. Enjoying what life has brought me right now, even if that doesn't look like what I had pictured.  There are still so many things I can be grateful for and take joy in every day. 
I know from experience that is a tough thing to do when you are in pain.  How can you be grateful for hurting?  How you be grateful for what feels like lack?  That's when you have to do what I think of as microsizing being present and just focus on that moment.  Right now, you are safe, you are fed, you might hurt, but you can handle it in this moment, you ARE handling it in this moment.  You are drawing sweet air into amazing machines called lungs and expelling a different mixture, isn't that a wonderous thing!?  Your body just did that, without a thought, it just happens.   When you look at the day, you see incredible colors....not every being can, but you get to see that beauty every day!  And what feels like lack, may actually be just a nudge in a different direction, to new opportunities.  There are SO many!   We get so focused on the past and what we've "lost", and so focused on getting to a certain destination, we miss the gifts we have right in front of us, and that is the heart of our suffering.  What if you felt surrounded by that abundance right now?  Why can't you?  Maybe, it's just a matter of redefining your definition of abundance.  Does it mean you have to settle? I don't think so, it's more a matter of accepting; accepting the gifts you have been given. 
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