I struggle with this, big time!! And I guess likely it's fear talking. It says "If I let go of that expectation and have gratitude for what the universe has brought me, then I will never have what I want".
I guess there are a couple ways to look at that, first maybe what I want, isn't what I need......an idea which, I'm not going to lie, sucks, cuz it sure feels like a need.....this thing I want. (is what make is feel like a need, is that there is an expectation of how it should look, or show up...)
Another way is that maybe letting go is just allowing, and allowing doesn't mean things will stay where they are, indeed they are always moving forward (no matter how hard we try to stop it). Fear says to that: what if by allowing (accepting?) what is, you aren't leaving room for what could be?
It is true that while I don't have in my life what I want, I can still appreciate what I do have.
And I guess I need to trust that I will know when it is time to move on.
It is true that I don't have to believe that what I am being offered is all I am worth, that I don't deserve more.
I know I am a vibrant loving being, and I have love to GIVE, and that just because I can't seem to find "someone" in my life capable of the same thing, doesn't mean I won't.
I am the same person I was before I met you, and just because you fall short, doesn't mean I have to judge myself for your lack. (no matter what the effing manifestors of the world say)
And I hope you find yourself some day, and DO have that love to give, even if it is to someone else.
(that is another strange dynamic....loving is supposed to be about giving love, not receiving, so should I not be happy just being able to give that to someone? Is it possible I am yet again trapped in the convoluted thinking of today's society? That expectation that that should look a certain way? Yes actually, I think all of this grasping can be chalked up to expectation and disappointment. So, do you do away with expectations? or learn to live with disappointment? OR find a way to grateful for all of it....I guess....that is leaving a crappy taste in my mouth this morning...)
I guess there are a couple ways to look at that, first maybe what I want, isn't what I need......an idea which, I'm not going to lie, sucks, cuz it sure feels like a need.....this thing I want. (is what make is feel like a need, is that there is an expectation of how it should look, or show up...)
Another way is that maybe letting go is just allowing, and allowing doesn't mean things will stay where they are, indeed they are always moving forward (no matter how hard we try to stop it). Fear says to that: what if by allowing (accepting?) what is, you aren't leaving room for what could be?
It is true that while I don't have in my life what I want, I can still appreciate what I do have.
And I guess I need to trust that I will know when it is time to move on.
It is true that I don't have to believe that what I am being offered is all I am worth, that I don't deserve more.
I know I am a vibrant loving being, and I have love to GIVE, and that just because I can't seem to find "someone" in my life capable of the same thing, doesn't mean I won't.
I am the same person I was before I met you, and just because you fall short, doesn't mean I have to judge myself for your lack. (no matter what the effing manifestors of the world say)
And I hope you find yourself some day, and DO have that love to give, even if it is to someone else.
(that is another strange dynamic....loving is supposed to be about giving love, not receiving, so should I not be happy just being able to give that to someone? Is it possible I am yet again trapped in the convoluted thinking of today's society? That expectation that that should look a certain way? Yes actually, I think all of this grasping can be chalked up to expectation and disappointment. So, do you do away with expectations? or learn to live with disappointment? OR find a way to grateful for all of it....I guess....that is leaving a crappy taste in my mouth this morning...)
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