Struggling with ugh

yup.....still struggling with a feeling of lack.  In many areas actually, but the one that rears its head most often is the companionship yearning.  While I understand that just because you are alone doesn't mean you have to feel lonely....I have to admit: I don't understand how to not feel lonely. I've taken care of myself for so long and been the only one there for myself....I'm frankly exhausted.  Could it be that it's time for some support? I don't feel that is outside the realm of reasonable needs.....and yet....it feels like I am being consistently denied that in my life. I'm not one who finds superficial interactions fulfilling in any way, indeed they are more energy grabbers than anything.  I'm coming to realize that part of that is feeling like I just wasted energy rather than invested it in something (or someone) that is going to return that energy at a later date.  Possibly a limiting belief?....I don't know.  When I started dating again I went into with the idea that what I put out there, I would get back. That isn't turning out to be true at all. In fact almost seems to have backfired on me and the more enthusiastically I throw myself into, the more disappointment I end up with. 
So, I end up beating myself up for feeling needy when a guy can't be bothered to just keep in contact.  Is that needy? Well, I don't feel like it is, it's a necessity for a relationship.  And that is what we are trying to establish, friendship, buddy or partner......all require consistency....don't they?  And if you are consistently absent, guess what...no relationship.  
So....I have needs. I need companionship. As introverted as I am, I get sick of my own company.  Problem here is I would prefer something of substance over superficial....
                            I need touch.  This I could get on a casual basis and have done just that to fulfill that need,
                            what becomes problematic is it would be SSOOO nice